


Love, Actually

by Morethancupcake



Series: Sugar and spice [12]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Age Difference, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, First Time, Fluff and Angst, Loss of Virginity, M/M, Virgin!Castiel, Virgin!Dean, alpha!Castiel, omega!dean
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-19
Updated: 2014-12-19
Packaged: 2018-03-02 07:00:38
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,202
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2803724
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Morethancupcake/pseuds/Morethancupcake
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Castiel. His mate. That's all he can think about, right now." Dean his waiting for Castiel  to finally claim him, but it doesn't quite go as planned.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Love, Actually

**Author's Note:**

> day 12 : watching a classic holiday film

Hugh Grant is now Prime Minister and Dean couldn't care less. Castiel is right next to him. Right next to him, on the couch in front of the TV. He isn't sure it's not the beginning of one of the steamy dreams he' been having a lot, lately.

The cutest wedding is being portrayed, and Dean can't really concentrate, because all he can think about his Castiel. His scent, his skin, so close. He's driving himself crazy with want.

Castiel. His mate. That's all he can think about, right now.  
From the first time they had seen each other, Dean had been truly and utterly gone. He remembers when people first started to talk about omegas meeting alphas around him, and how sappy and sweet it was supposed to be. Back then, he used to think it was all Harlequin bullshit, and it was just basic sex, it was the need to mate, and probably to do it until exhausted, and nothing more. He hadn't been enchanted with the prospect of having only one partner for the rest of his life, but hey. Some alphas were the sharing kind, and he wouldn't be too possessive too. He wasn't ready to be exclusive with anyone just yet, thank you very much.

And then came Castiel. And suddenly Dean realized what all these corny songs and poems were all about. Castiel was the youngest son of Chuck, the weird guy who was living down the street. He was just back from a trip around Europe after ending college, and was starting a new job at the library when Dean saw him for the first time. 

"Bye bye baby" is playing, and all Dean can think about is the way his heart had been hammering his chest. How he had felt sick when other people, other omegas, had been touching him, or trying to get his alpha's attention. His alpha. His. He remembers the red flash in Cas' eyes when he finally spotted him, but how cold and polite he had been. And Dean gets it, really. He had been only seventeen at that time, and while he was probably way more informed than he should've been, it wouldn't have been right.

Or at least that's what Castiel had told The Winchesters over his tea, the day after. Dean doesn't remember much about that, actually, because he had felt feverish, and dizzy, and everything in him was screaming Cas' name, and he wouldn't give him the time of the day. Yeah, thinking your mate doesn't want you back isn't a happy feeling. At all. He remembers Castiel worried look, and how their parents had been kind enough to let them be for a while in Dean's room. How Castiel had held him against his chest and whispered how badly he wanted him here, now, but he needed to wait. He remembers hiding his face into his alpha's neck, marking himself with his scent, trying to convince himself Castiel really wanted him. His mate wanted him.

Now Colin Firth is being is adorable dorky self, and Dean is tracing mindless patterns on Castiel's fingers with his fingertips. Castiel reaches back and hold his hand, and his mind is filled with pure happiness. It's almost Christmas, he's staying at Cas for the first time, and he's blissfully happy. Dean had thought his eighteeth birthday would've been the end of his unmated omega life, and he was actually quite eager for it to stop. But he had been wrong. Castiel had taken a small appartment close to the library. Dean was welcome to hang around, they had watched movies, played video games and cuddled, a lot, but it had been it. Well. Mostly.

Lately their kisses were more heated. He could feel Castiel's hold on himself break, little by little. He didn't really know what was stopping his mate, but it had nothing to do with Dean, or their relationship, and if Cas needed time, then Dean was happy to just nap in his arms and forget about the world. One night, after too many kisses and Dean on the verge of crying because of the need that was crawling under his skin, Castiel had gone on his knees and used his mouth on him. Dean thinks of it as his first time, even if the guys had hinted it meant nothing. Dean doesn't think Castiel would just do that for any omega, and the mere idea of him on his knees in front of anyone else is bringing tears to his eyes. 

On the screen Emma Thomson is crying in her bedroom, and Castiel thinks Dean is touched by the movie, and his gently kissing his temple. The guys at work had said things. Hinting Dean wasn't right for his mate. It's hard hiding the fact he's not wearing Cas' mark. Victor had said he still smelled like virgin omega, and he doesn't think it's possible to scent it, but yes, he's getting worried. Maybe Castiel loves another omega. Ot a beta. Maybe even another alpha. It's rare, but it happens, mate not falling in love with each other. It breaks his heart, but as long as Castiel is okay to hold him close and hold his hand, Dean think he'll be all right with it. He'll try at least.

 

"You're missing the movie, Dean." Castiel is looking at him, annoyed but smiling, and Dean knows he insisted on the movie, because it's a classic, but he's starting to feel panic raise in his chest, and his breath isn't good anymore and. In a second, Castiel is holding him against him, whispering sweet words to his neck. 

Now it's the famous "to me you're perfect" moment, but Dean doesn't care, because Castiel is kissing him, playing him like a master, and all Dean can do is just take, take, rake his fingers through his hair, bite at the ridiculously pink lips, moan and beg, because he just wants, and it's unfair. Castiel fingers are on him, and he knows these fingers now. How they feel on his skin, in his mouth, inside him, rocking him.  
The guys at work say Alphas who are just using their mouth and fingers on omegas are just pitying them, are just taking care of their pets, and not really wanting them. Dean hopes he's more than a pet to Cas, but maybe he isn't.

He can feel Castiel's fingers getting under the waistband of the sweatpants he's wearing and he stops them with his hand. "Please, no." Castiel is shocked, looking at him as if terrified to hurt him. 

"I'm sorry Dean, I thought..."

"I don't need your pity, man. It's fine. I'll take care of myself, okay ? You don't need to do that anymore." Castiel's eyes are all red now, and Dean isn't really afraid. He knows Castiel wouldn't do anything. Right now he's frustrated, and angry.

"What are you talking about, Dean ?" Castiel runs his fingers in hir hair, and it's crazy how magically calm and happy he feels. "You know I love you, I just want to..." Dean is bright red, because he's not sure he ever heard the words from his mate. "Dean, of course I love you, you're my mate." Dean bites his tongue. He wants to lash out, and just hurt his alpha. 

"Am I ? Or am I just your omega pet until you can find better ?" He's almost expecting the red eyes to come back, the alpha in Cas to roar in face of Dean's insolence, but all he can see in the deep blue eyes is incomprehension.

"Please don't say things like this. Please. You know you're..."

"I'm what ? Not enough for you to fuck ? Should I just find another alpha to give me what I need ?" Dean knows it's dangerous to tease alphas. Especially mates. His dad had to sit him down and explain carefully some subjects were just hard for some alpha's to handle, and it could be fatal. Dean doesn't care, all he can feel is anger. 

And it's washed away by the tears on Castiel's eyes. He is very gentle with Dean, taking his hands back to himself, and getting at the opposite side of the sofa. Dean feels like he just kicked a puppy. Big, strong, independant Castiel looks so hurt he's shocked to think he did just that. Castiel chin is shaking, and after a few exhales he tries to smile. It fails to reach his eyes. 

"Of course Dean. I know I make you wait and... and... of course. If you want someone else, I can't really blame you. I just thought you shared my feelings I..." Seeing Castiel wrestle with words is almost as painful as the fat tears rolling on his cheeks. "I'm sorry, Dean. Of course you can be with any alpha you want, I'm not going to prevent you from sex if that's what you need. I've been... very selfish in making you wait so long." He's shaking a little and turning his attention back to the screen. "I'm sorry I'm not ready, Dean. I'm sorry you're stuck with a broken Alpha."

Dean is too stunned to speak. All this time, he had thought Castiel was talking about him, when they were talking about waiting, and going slowly. He remembers all the kisses, and the sex, and yes, now he can see what he thought was gentleness and tenderness was in fact Castiel being nervous, and unsure. Castiel had told him about the few boyfriends he had been with before Dean, and of course he had assumed Castiel had more experience.  
He can't even smell Castiel, right now, and he realizes how bad he just hurted his alpha, for him to lose his scent and his eyes, for him to just smile and give up his mate.

Castiel goes to his bedroom and shuts the door softly. Dean feels like the worst person on earth. 

He thinks about going back home, but he feels like someone just punched him in the guts considering it. He can't believe he's been so wrong about Castiel. He can't believe he didn't even take time to know his mate enough. Castiel knows probably everything there is to know about Dean Winchester. And Dean loves that about him,how they can be talking about their favorite pizza topping, or what they would change about politics, and Castiel is listening to him, always. Castiel who always seems so happy when Dean asks things about him, and who tries to answer every little odd questions Dean can have. Castiel just told him he loved him, and Dean didn't even take time to ask if his mate was still a virgin. He feels like a fool.

He doesn't really care about the movie, anymore, all that he wants is to make things right again. He wants to erase all these awful things he said, and most of all, he want to forget the tears he put in Castiel's eyes. He basically told his alpha he wasn't wanted, and Castiel had smiled and took it.

Dean finds the courage to go to Cas' room, and after a long time wondering if he should knock or not, he decides not to. The room is in the dark. His eyes take a few seconds to get used to the shadows, and he can finally see his mate, under the covers. He doesn't think and climbs on the bed, wraps himself around Castiel, and holds him close. He's still crying, little sobs that pierce through Dean like blades. He's trying to be silent, and Dean is so mad at himself, because even hurt, Cas just wants him to be okay. 

"I love you Alpha. I'm sorry. I'm sorry I said those things. I didn't mean them." He kisses the back of Cas' head, his neck, his shoulder. He wants to take all of Castiel's pain. "You're mine, and I'm yours, and I don't need anyone else, I don't want anyone else. Just you". Castiel is shaking his head, and Dean croons in his ear. "Please don't, don't. I love you. I love you. If you don't want to, then we won't. You don't have to claim me for me to be yours."

Castiel calms down, eventually. Dean is still whispering love and praise into his Alpha's skin. Telling him how much he loves napping with him when it's raining outside. How happy he'll be waking up with him tomorrow, and probably for the rest of his life. He tells him about how addicted to his kisses he is, and how Castiel doesn't have to touch him if sex is too much.

"I like to. I want to." Dean can smell the smallest scent of Cas, and he puts his nose right into the place where shoulder meets neck. "I want to Dean. Just.. maybe not right now ?"

"I love you Alpha. We have all the time in the world." He lets himself being pulled under the covers, next to his mate. Castiel's lips are not really confident, and Dean pours all his love into his kisses, until he's drunk on them. Screw the guys at work. They have all the time in the world.


End file.
